The Difference Between the Two
by MoronicShrew
Summary: Evelyn's POV, starting when Danny comes to tell her of Rafe's death and going through the rest of the movie. ::sigh:: It's finished! Enjoy!
1. Part 1 - "It'll all be alright"

I watched Dorie as he walked off of the porch of the hospital, smiling at nothing but him in general. He certainly was an interesting character. I do kind of like the way he fought for his respect. Having someone's respect was obviously important to him, and if he had to use his fist to get it, then he would do it. A boxing champion, yet too timid and shy to enter the hospital without knocking. The smile still on my face, I turned my attention to the car that had pulled up. The door opened slowly, and the tall, lanky man got out. It was Danny. I kept asking myself what he was doing here, but when he looked at me with that hard expression of sorrow and remorse, I didn't ask myself anything else. I simply walked up to him and fell against him, while he put his arm around me. I don't quite know what I expected to happen when I did that. Maybe a comfort of knowing that there was someone who would be as lost and lonely without Rafe as I would be? I possibly lost my balance, and he caught me in his strong arms? Or, against my will, maybe it was impulse? Whatever the reason, against all the knowledge I had, it felt right. But, I must make one thing clear. Something feeling right is completely different than me feeling comfort or ease; It's completely different than me knowing that I was going to be alright.   
  
I looked at the ocean while Danny talked. I knew he was talking about Rafe, because here and there I would hear the words "flying" or "better". I felt bad for not listening, but I couldn't help it. My feelings and thoughts were consuming me so largely, that I could've sworn I would drown in them, just as someone drowns in the ocean. The ocean. It is so big, yet men often feel they can big bigger. Like Rafe. So convinced that he would make it; so convinced that he would come back to me. I'd give money on the thought that he never even thought of death until it looked him in the eye. He was too good of a pilot to do that. But when death did look him in the eye, did he feel small then? Did it finally occur to him that no man will ever be as big as the ocean? Not even he. Wiping the tears from my face, I finally tuned myself into what Danny was saying. My own thoughts were killing me. "Up there, he was always pushing me to be better and faster." I smiled vaguely. "He told me that you were the best pilot," I didn't notice the look of pride that must have washed upon his face. My eyes were welling up again. "That was the same night that he told me he volunteered to go to Europe." Danny's face tightened. "Volunteered?" I slowly nodded. He smirked. "He told me he'd been assigned. He was always trying to protect me." I let my tears fall at that. Not knowing what else to do, I leaned against him again. And again, he put his arm around me and whispered in my ear that it would all be alright. Oh, Danny. How I wish you were right. How I wish you were right.   
  



	2. Part 2 - 3 months later

With no emotion what-so-ever on my face, I stepped into the crowded moviehouse and took a seat in the back. I needed something to do that could maybe take my mind off of the previous 3 months, and Betty suggested this new Charlie Chaplin movie. I knew it wouldn't do any good, but I knew she was only trying to help; and for that, I did as she said. The lights finally went down, and I instantly wished that I had purchased a drink. My throat was dry, and it had been for a while. It was just among those things I wouldn't deal with until brought to my rational attention. I then contemplated the need of newsflashes before the show. Watching this newsflash was almost too much for me to take. I didn't go there to hear about the American pilots in Britain, I went there to see Charlie Chaplin. Covering my mouth out of shock at the theatre's audacity, I stood up and walked out. I KNOW I didn't go there to see the American pilots get shot down. Had those people no decency? The poor souls sitting in that auditorium had probably come to forget about war, not think about it or watch it. Deciding I wasn't strong enough to give management a piece of my frail and confused mind, I walked outside. "Evelyn!" I turned around and saw Danny exiting the moviehouse. I knew instantly that he had left for the same reasons as I. "Hey. Some comedy, huh?" He grinned a little. "How've you been?" Not really knowing how to answer, I just nodded a little, looking to my right. He must have noticed the same thing I did, because we both mentioned the coffee house at the same time. I laughed, as did he. "You want?" He asked. I smiled and nodded. "Yeah." What could it hurt? Danny was a nice guy, and I hadn't seen him in 3 months. And even though I had this feeling that he would talk about Rafe the whole time, that'd be ok. For some reason, when Danny talk about Rafe I didn't let it bother me. I didn't wallow in sorrow and longing, only in laughing at the fond memories they had and picturing Rafe doing all of the stupid stuff Danny talked about.  
  
"One time when I was like, 7, he told me he wanted me to build him some wings so he could fly. I told him he couldn't fly without some kind of engine, but he told me to shut up and make the wings, so I did," I laughed and took a sip from my cup. "He had these wings that we had made out of paper and glue, and I told him that he couldn't jump off of the barn with those. Did he listen? Busted his leg." I laughed even harder, and he took a break from the story telling process to laugh with me. I regained my compsure and took another sip of coffee. "God," I sighed. "I miss him." Danny looked at my eyes, and the words he spoke were as firm as the way he was looking at me. "Yeah, but don't you think that Rafe wasn't back up there the next day, casting everything and telling me to make adjustments on those wings." I smiled. I could see now why Danny and Rafe were friends. Not only were they raised to stand eachother, they had a bond. A bond I can't really describe to this day, but it was special. It wasn't your average bond. When they compared themselves to brothers, they meant it. I looked at my watch. "I guess I'd better go." Danny smiled. "I had a great time." I offered the smile back and stood up. "Me too." "Don't let it be 3 months before I see you again, hear?" I smiled at him again and nodded. "Ok." "Do you need me to walk you home, or..?" I had to come up with a split second decision. "Oh, no. I'll be fine." He gave one of those 'i'm stupid' looks and laughed. "Oh, ofcourse." I picked up my bag and started for the door. "Goodnight." He stood up as I left, a sign of his southern upbringing. "Goodnight." I heard him say, as I walked through the door. I instantly wished I had let him walk me home, but not because I was scared. I wanted more of his company. He made me laugh when remembering Rafe, not cry.   
  
I was laying on my bed, trying to sleep. It wasn't working. My thoughts were going back and forth between focusing on sleep and the evening I spent with Danny. I had so much fun, even if it was just sitting in a coffee shop. Danny was a great person to be around, and stupid me, I had shut the world out for the past 3 months and missed out on that. I nearly jumped 3 feet into the air when a knock on the door came. I wasn't expecting anyone at 10:25 at night, so I immediately assumed that someone had been injured or something and required a nurse's attention. Not even thinking to grab my robe, I ran to the door in my one piece of "lingerie" that I owned. Leave it to me to be wearing it when someone knocks on the door. Only when I turned the light on that I realized it wasn't just anyone, it was Danny. "Oh!" He jumped off of the stairs. "You were asleep, I'm sorry." I really wasn't asleep, but he didn't need to know that. I didn't get the chance to really respond to that statement anyway, because Sandra apparently thought the same thing I did and rushed to the door in her sleepwear. After a timid "hi" from Danny, she realized there was no problem which needed her assistance and ran back to her room. "You forgot this." He handed me my hankerchief. I looked at the white piece of cloth then back at Danny. "Oh, thank you. It was good of you to bring it to me...now." He stuck his hands up. "I'm sorry, it's just that I thought you might need it tomorrow. You know, for work or something." I was touched. He humiliated himself to bring me my..hanky. "But, it's a hanky." He nodded and stepped up to the door. "You know, maybe--" I cut him off by "ssshhh"-ing him. He was talking rather loudly. He lowered his voice. "You know, do you think I could come by some time if I gave you call. Maybe? You know, if you weren't busy." I looked inside. "Maybe." He nodded and repeated. "Maybe?" I nodded. "Ok, I'll see you around then." I nodded and shut the door. Walking away, I heard him mutter to himself. "God, you are such an idiot." I laughed. I didn't think he was an idiot. Well, maybe a little. Any guy in their right mind wouldn't show up at 10:30 to bring a woman her hanky, but it was an excuse he was using. He wanted to see me. And as I turned out the light and climbed back into bed, I realized something. As humiliating for the both of us as it was, I'm glad he came by. I wanted to see him, too. 


	3. Part 3 - Heaven

I woke up the next morning with a smirk on my face. How could I not be amused at the events of the previous night? Danny coming over and humiliating himself was just hilarious. Granted, it got me a few looks from my housemates. But it was beyond worth it.  
  
I walked into the hospital with surprisingly, no fuss. Just all look. Apparently, Betty and Barbara had seen me at the coffee shop with Danny; and between that and Sandra catching the episode last night, I'm pretty sure they had a few wrong ideas. "Have fun last night?" I looked at Barbara and opened the cabinet to get something out. "It wasn't how it looked." Sandra sighed. "And even if it was, it'd be ok," I gave her a look to kill. "It's been months, Evelyn. It's time to start moving on." I put the supply list back in the cabinet. "I am moving on." Betty finally uttered a noise. "Yeah, and then I hear you crying when you think I'm asleep." Ouch. That one hurt. "Betty, I--" "Evelyn, Rafe sent his best friend to tell you so that you'd be ok. It's ok, Ev," I sighed and turned my back on them, looking out the window. "When my dad died, my mom sent me to live with my aunt. I thought my life was over," I looked at her. I hadn't heard this story. All I knew was that she was underage. "But if I hadn't have run away and joined the army, I wouldn't have met Red. And now he's my fiance!" I smiled and walked over to her, giving her a hug. "Oh, Betty. That's great!" Barbara sighed in disgust. "Can you believe it? Little Betty beat us all to the post." We heard the new recruits talking in the doorway, and turned to look at them. Barbara and Sandra wanted to torture them for some reason, so they stood up and ran out of the room. I turned my attention back to Betty. She seemed to know what I was asking, because she didn't hesitate to start talking. "We're gonna wait 2 years until I'm 19 and Red can buy me a ring," I smiled and hugged her again, only to be pushed back by her sudden shriek. "Red!!" She jumped up and ran to the red headed man who walked in with a bouqet of flowers. I smiled at her happiness, but I also felt a pang of jealousy. I wanted so much to be able to run to someone and hug them like she was. I really wanted to say Rafe, but I was seriously considering what the girls were saying. It was time to move on. He wasn't coming back, and I had to find someone else. Unless, ofcourse, I WANTED to live my life alone; to live in a longing dream on a day to day basis. And to be quite honest with you, I didn't. So I went home and got out every letter Rafe had written me. The folded bird, included, and stuffed them inside my diary. Closing it, I took it from it's spot on my nightstand and hid it under my clothes in a drawer. Taking one last look and a reassuring breath that this was what I wanted, I closed the drawer. "Bye, Rafe."  
  
I approached the air base with every step of confidence I had. The nurses were right. I did need to move on, and so I was going to. Going to try, anyway. I had been thinking about Danny. I felt sort of a connection with him, mainly because he was as close to Rafe as I was and understood my pain. But on top of that, he was sweet and funny, and he struck my fancy. As I got closer to the plane where he was test shooting, I ran it over in my head again. I wanted to see him, but ofcourse, he wouldn't need to know that. I'd use the prude excuse that no one needed to get the impression that there was something going on with us. And I'd say it as sultry as I possibly could. And if I could help it, I'd have him asking me out before this conversation would be over. Ok, good plan. Here goes. I walked up to the plane, and he came and sat down on the wing. Everyone he was working with seemed to tense up and scatter away. I was grinning inside. Perfect. "You know, does it seem that everyone has been acting a little strange?" He nodded shyly. Apparently, he couldn't think of anything to say. Then one of his friends came back to the plane, picking up a wrench. "Sorry. Forgot my wrenches," He said to Danny. Danny gave him a look, and he walked past me, tipping his hat. "Hi. I forgot my wrenches." I smiled quickly and turned back to Danny. "You know, he doesn't have to leave." Danny just stared at the boy as he walked away. "Oh, no. He doesn't, does he?" I leaned in a little closer, putting on the sultry act. "You know, it seems that people might be thinking there's something going on between us. They don't need to think that." Danny shook his head in that 'oh, no. that's ridiculous' type of way. "Oh, no. It'd be embarrassing. It'd just be, completely embarrassing." Yes. He was acting shy. I nodded and started to walk away, slowly. "Well, I was just going to say that. I'm just going out with the girls, now. Talk to you later." He nodded slowly. Lordy, he was quiet today. I walked a little slower. And slower. He needed to hurry, I was almost out of earshot. "Evelyn!" I grinned to myself and turned around, the grin hidden. "What?" "Have you ever seen Pearl Harbor at sunset?" I gave him a weird look. "Ofcourse." He laughed. "From the air?" I gave him a smile. "No, Danny Walker. I haven't." He looked down, then back at me. "Mind if I change that?" I smiled again. "Not at all." "Then you'll meet me here at sunset?" I nodded. "Ok." He smiled. "Great." I gave a quick smile and wave and turned around. It had worked. I was expecting something like dinner, but a flight at sunset was fine. I could see alot more, and probably share a better moment with him. I liked him alot. I can't say I loved him yet, but at that point it was certain that I did like him an awful lot. I was going to make that night special. I would try to live that night. Forget try to, I was going to live.  
  
I was at the air base at sunset, as promised. Well, maybe before. I wanted some time to think to myself before Danny showed up. Was it right to be seeing someone this soon after my mourning period? And Rafe's best friend, at that. I wasn't sure. But what did I care? I needed to get out and have fun, and Danny was the right person to do that with. He was the only guy in the entire Harbor that I even remotely liked like *that*. "Hey, Evelyn!" I turned around to face Danny. "Hey." He motioned toward the plane. "You ready?" I nodded. "Yes, sir." He nodded and climbed into the cockpit, offering me his hand before he sat down. I accepted. His hands were soft. Like what, I don't know. But they weren't rough at all. I liked soft hands. I sat down in his lap, because the cockpit was obviously a one seater. He settled the both of us, and strapped us in. Giving me one last look, he started the plane and started it down the runway. A smile was already growing on my face. "You know, I could get kicked out of the military for this." I gave him a shocked look. "Really?" He laughed and put his jacket over my head. "Yeah, stay down." I ducked down enough so that I couldn't be seen, but not too much to where I couldn't see. Once we got up above the clouds, he started explaining something about why they called Pearl Harbor Pearl Harbor. I was breathless. "It's beautiful." Was all I could say. And it was. It had to be the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The way the sun shined on the water, and the way it looked in the clouds. I felt like I could stick my hand out and reach the sky. I felt that powerful. Not in an arrogant way, but in a free way. Like I was releasing alot of my past. I felt like a new person. I looked at Danny to find him staring at me. I was astonished that he didn't turn away when I caught him staring, but I didn't mind. "My dad took me up a couple of times," I said. "Just don't do that thing he did." Danny looked at me strangely. "What thing?" "What is it? Where you flip over." "Oh. A Barrell Roll?" I nodded. "I won't." Had I caught the look on his face, I maybe could've stopped him. But, no. We went upside down. I screamed, but only because it startled me. He laughed. "How was that?" I caught my breath. "I liked it." I said, nodding. He laughed again. I laughed with him, but didn't say anything else. We stayed in the air for about another hour, until it was completely dark. It was silent, but a good silence. A silence of realization. I realized alot of things in that time. And among them, was the realization that I think I love Danny. Maybe it was just out of me needing company, but, maybe it was out of the fact that I really did love him. Whatever it was out of, I loved him that night. And the night after that. And the night after that. I would come to love him my whole life, but it would never be as much as I loved Rafe; nor would it be for the same reasons. "I'm sorry, but the plane is due back in.." He looked at his watch. "Shit! It was due back an hour ago." I laughed as he pulled us back to the ground. "I guess we lost track of time, huh?" He laughed and nodded. "Yeah." "Danny?" "Yeah?" I looked at him. "Can we do this again?" He pulled the plane to a stop. "Anytime you want." Before I could respond, we immediately got yelled at. Danny practically pushed me out of the plane. "THAT PLANE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BACK AN HOUR AGO!" "Quick! In the parachute anchor!" I did as I was told and ran into the parachutes. Just meaning to be a tease, I kept twirling in them. But he caught up with me. I smiled at him, and he smiled back. And then, we both leaned in for a kiss. It was the first time I had kissed him, and I think it was the most powerful one. I laid myself down on the parachute covered floor, and he came with me, kissing me some more. "My heart is pounding." He whispered. I put my hand on his chest, and I could feel it. Mine was too, but that was added to the list of numerous things that he didn't have to know. Gripping his dog tags, I pulled him down for another kiss. With the passion that came from that kiss, I made my decision. Maybe it was stupidity in some people's eyes; in mine, it wasn't. Not even later would I consider it a move of stupidity. How could I? 


	4. Part 4 - Sweet November

"Danny, last night was wrong." Ugh, that doesn't sound right. But that could only prove one thing. If I couldn't bring myself to say that it was wrong, then it wasn't. Deciding I was just going to have to improv, I began walking toward Danny. That'd give me a few seconds, right? Ok, maybe 2. He saw me and ran. "Evelyn!" I smiled weakly. "Hi." "I didn't sleep a wink last night." I closed my eyes. "Danny, I--" He cut me off. "Last night was crazy, I know. But I'm not sorry," He smiled the biggest grin I'd ever seen him put upon his handsome face. "Are you?" The smiled stayed. I shook my head. "I don't know," The smile sort of fell. Did I really know what I was saying? "Danny, I had a wonderful time last night. But, it's just all too fast." I wasn't making sense to myself, so I doubted very seriously that I was making sense to him. He kind of laughed. "Evelyn, I was out here on the beach this morning, and I saw the sunset," Wow. What did that have to do with anything? "And I knew that everything was going to be different. That this is a start of something new," I felt the grin on my face starting to grow. "I mean how could I not feel this way? I mean, I kind of like you." He smiled that heart smile again. I laughed shyly. "Oh, you do?" He didn't say anything, only laughed. I laughed with him. "Here," I reached my hands up to his tie. "Your tie's on crooked." He cupped my hands and held me close to him. I'd kill to stay like that. "Everything's going to be alright." He said, kissing me on the forehead. And out of all the times he had ever said that to me, that was the first time that I believed him.   
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I was sitting on the beach, just staring at the water while Danny swam. I swear, he acted like a little kid when he got in the water. But it wasn't bad; it was cute. It had been my goal of the day to not get my hair wet, and so far, I was achieving it. Those past few days had been wonderful. It was me and Danny, and that was it. Nothing else. And I think that's all either of us wanted. Just eachother. So, it was all we got. We hadn't talked about Rafe in a while, and I was having so much fun with Danny that I rarely thought of him. Part of the moving on process, I suppose. But I had already moved on. I loved Danny, and while I still loved Rafe, Danny was the one that was there with me and taking care of me and loving me. Rafe was only in Heaven watching over me. I needed that, but I also needed someone to look after me here. I was so thankful for Danny. Had he not been there, I don't know what would've become of me. It wouldn't have been good, that's for sure. I looked from my place on the rock and noticed that Danny hadn't been splashing any for a while. Looking around the beach area, I didn't see him. Where was he? A bit frightened, I sat up a little bit, looking everywhere I could think of. Then something grabbed me by the ankle and pulled me in. I came up from under the water and screamed, while Danny came up behind me, laughing. "That wasn't funny, Walker." I said, laughing. Yes, I do realized that I did nothing but contradict myself. He turned me around and put his forehead to mine. "Who ever said it was meant to be funny?" I didn't say anything, only looked into his brown eyes. Getting rid of the silence, he kissed me. And I kissed back, as I always did.   
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The 2 of us laid head-to-head with our feet hanging out of the side of the car. I was just looking at sky, thinking. I suppose Danny was doing the same, for he was not saying anything. This was the one truly good thing that came out of Rafe's death; me and Danny. While I had often longed for Rafe to come back and us to grow old together, those thoughts were gone. He wouldn't come back, and we wouldn't grow old together. But, Danny was there. He was right there, right then. I wanted to lay with him like that for the rest of my life, but I now know why I couldn't. At that moment, I decided Danny was the one I would grow old with. He would be the one to take me to Tennessee; he would father my children; he would also fight in the war. The war. Was America going? At that point, no one knew. I cleared my throat. "What's on your mind?" Danny asked me. "Do you think the war will catch up to us?" He sighed. "I don't know." "Well, every minute we're not together you're up there training for it." He smiled. "Yeah, well I'm not trained for moments like these," I laughed. "Cause I have no idea how I'm going to get this car out of the sand." I laughed even harder. Although, I didn't really care how he got the car out of the sand. All I cared about at that moment was him, and I showed him that. I turned my face to the side and kissed him. Passionately.  
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I paced around the small bathroom. No. The answer was no. How would it come to this? It couldn't. "Evelyn, would you get out of that bathroom? You've been in there for an hour. What are you trying to do, look like me?" Barbara could be such a smart ass. I hadn't been in there for an hour. Well, maybe I had. I don't know. Since I was doing nothing but pacing and sitting down on the floor with my head in my hands crying every now and then, I respected her wishes. I walked out, with her instantly looking at me strangely. I guess she was astonished that I was in my night clothes, my hair was a wreck, and my face was makeup-less and tearstained. "You ok?" I nodded. "Yeah." I have a feeling that wasn't very convincing, but I didn't care. I just ran out to the back porch, breathing in the fresh air. I needed it.   



	5. Part 5 - December 6, 1941

I remember being distant through out that day. I had known my fate for days, but for some reason, it didn't really kick in until that day. There was still one straw I could pull to see if I was right, and if it was wrong, then so was I. If it was right, there was nothing else I could try. So, at the end of the day when all the nurses went home, I stayed behind. Making sure the hospital doors were locked and no one was there with me, I went to the office and pulled out a calendar. I dreadfully counted the weeks from *that* day to the day I was on, and after taking a sigh of nothing, I carefully placed the calendar back in it's position, as if I had never touched it. Taking one more sigh and turning out the lights, I walked out of the office, and then out of the hospital.  
  
I was staring at my feet while I was walking. I realized that I could probably run into something, but I just didn't care. My mind was racing. Everything that consumed my head was about Danny. What would Danny think? How would Danny react? Would he still love me? Then I saw a pair of shoes standing infront of me, so I raised my head. I gasped and literally almost fell. At that moment, everything that I had been thinking left, and my mind and heart were filled with all kinds of emotions I thought I had forgotten. I had forgotten them, but they all came flooding back. "I told you I'd come back." Was all Rafe said. I was starting to cry. My God, how I'd missed him. I didn't realize how much I had until then, when he was standing right infront of me. "Here, sit down." He took my hand and led me to a nearby bench. He simply rubbed my face and said nothing, and my tears were falling like waterfalls. "I wished for this everyday." He nodded. "I know, I know. Me too." "How did you--?" He kind of laughed. "I was picked up by a French fishing boat, so I was stuck in France and I couldn't get word out, but I'll tell you all about it later," I moved closer to him. "God, you're so beautiful. I love you so much." He started kissing me lightly, and I kissed him back for a minute. But then I couldn't do it. I felt so awful. I cried even more and pulled away from him. He smiled gently at me. "It's ok, I'm back now," I shook my head. "I'm back." "Rafe, you died," He just looked at me; his face emotionless. "So did I." "No, no. See, it's ok. I'm back now. I'm back, and we're together," That hit the spot. I closed my eyes and looked down; quietly sobbing. "I mean, we are together. Aren't we?" I opened my eyes and looked at him. "I don't know where I am." He couldn't really find anything to say. I could tell by the look on his face. "Rafe!" I looked up, and I just couldn't take it anymore. The 2 men I loved. Both of them. What was going to happen? Would I have to choose between them? I couldn't do that. By the look on mine and Danny's faces, Rafe instantly knew what was going on. He stood up, as dignantly as he could, but I could tell he was as fragile as a little child right then. Danny started to approach him, and he lifted his hand in protest. "Stay away." "Rafe," Rafe didn't turn around to answer him. He only walked away and kept walking, not looking back once. Maybe if I had done that in the first place, this never would have happened. I wouldn't be in this mess. Danny sighed and looked down. I couldn't even cry anymore. "Let me walk you home, then I'll find him." I nodded slowly and stood up. "Ok." He walked beside me the entire, but he didn't say anything. I didn't say anything either. What was happening to me? The one minute I thought that maybe I'd be ok, that maybe I could go on with my life. When I finally start to have fun again; when I finally start to love again. He shows up. Rafe comes back. Where the hell did all of this fit in? My mind was so clouded. My heart was clouded, too. I had my feelings for Danny, and now my feelings for Rafe. We reached my house, finally. "Evelyn?" I turned around. "Yes?" "I love you. You know that right?" I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I nodded. He smiled weakly. "I'll find him and talk to him. Don't worry. It's all going to be ok." I couldn't smile. I believed him, but how long would it take? I couldn't wait that long. I offered a small wave and walked inside. Betty was sitting on her bed. "Hey, Ev! I got these--" She noticed my face, and then she noticed me fall to the floor, gasping for my breath as the sobs consumed me. She ran over to me. "What is wrong, honey?" I managed to answer her. "Rafe...he..he's alive." She narrowed her eyes. "What?" "He's back. He found me, Betty." She looked confused. "Ev, that's great. Why are you--" I didn't mean to, but I lashed out at her. "He saw Danny, too, damn it!" Her eyes widened, and for her 17 years, she gave me the best amount of comfort I could deal with for the moment. She hugged me.   
  
After my episode in the bedroom, I felt drained. I walked out to the back porch, sitting down on the swinger chair. I had no plans to sleep. If I could sleep like this, well. That'd be a miracle. I instantly began thinking about the situation, and what I could do. It would come to that. I would have to choose. Sighing, I thought about Danny. He was smart, funny, and I had so much fun with him. Rafe? He was smart in everything besides letters and directions, funny, and I had so much fun with him. UGH! Damn! That's the exact same thing I said about Danny! Ok, maybe this would be harder. There were no differences. Who did I love more? Well, that was simple. It's Rafe. But I loved Danny more than I thought I did, so I almost loved him as much as I love Rafe, but not quite. Ok, I'll stay with Rafe. I implanted this into my head, so that I couldn't change my mind. It would be hard for me to leave Danny. I did love him. But, Rafe was the first one, and I loved him more. He only deserved it. But, then I remembered. It wasn't just me in this anymore. There was someone else. I had to think about them, too. And for that, I had to think about Danny. Ok, there you have it. I had no choice. I had to stay with Danny. Now, it would be hard for me to leave Rafe, but it would have to be done. With my unsettled mind made up, I fell asleep; against my will. 


	6. Part 6 - December 7, 1941: A Date Which ...

I woke up at the sound of a loud, bombing noise. What the devil? I jumped up and ran off of the porch to the backyard, only to see Battleship Row being blown to bits, and some foreign bomber planes flying overhead. I covered my mouth; my eyes wide. I turned around to see the other girls running out, throwing their clothes on as they did. I didn't waste another second. "EVERYBODY TO THE HOSPITAL!"   
  
The earth pounded hard against my feet as I ran as fast as my legs would carry me; the other nurses in tow. Don't get hit. That was my motto for the moment. It was also my goal. Don't let the Japanese hit you. Before I got into the combat area, I had taken time to look at the planes. They were most defenitely Japs. But what about the peace talks? Were they useless, or were they never intended to be true in the first place? Who knows? Either way, this was happening. Hundreds of lives were being taken while I ran against the wind, trying to save my own.   
  
I ran into the hospital and didn't hesitate to start getting supplies out. Without knowing who gave them to me, I received orders to help get the patients that were already there away from the windows. Just as soon as we threw the wounded into a pile and covered them with mattresses, a bomb was dropped outside and the hospital windows blew in. Why were they doing this?   
  
I had never watched so many people die in my life. I had never watched anyone die, at that. I had seen it all. I had done it all. I plugged my fingers into an officer's neck artery, until the doctor could get to him. As gross as it sounds, and as gross as it was, I am proud. He would've died had I not. But let's not make it sound like I'm getting big headed, over here. I still feel small. But the part where I felt the smallest? When they sent me outside to only let the ones in who would live. Who was I to make such a decision? I had never felt so awful in my life. This boy came with a hole right in the middle of his stomach. From the looks of it, I didn't think he could be saved, so I sent him away with some morphine to make him comfortable. He might have been able to be saved. But, I wouldn't know. I sent him away going by the looks of the wound and the speed of his pulse. But, then there was always Betty. Betty. Red's fiance; the underage party girl with so much going for herself. She was right behind me. She was with the rest of us. When did she get hit? Why didn't I look behind to make sure everyone was ok? Why was I, again, only thinking of myself in the decisions I was making? Then Sandra cried her plea. It was plea that spoke for me in so many ways. That moment, the night before, and the rest of my life. "I don't know what to do!"   
  
The attack was over. They needed blood. Where the hell did they want me to get it? Would they mind too terribly much if I went and bottled some up from the floor? There was enough. I finally rounded up some of the cleanup crew workers to donate. After I sent them on their way, I gathered up the bags and began rolling them to the doctor; then they walked in. I stopped in my tracks, the first time I had stopped and actually breathed since this attack came upon us. "How can we help?" I looked at Rafe, and then to Danny. Catching my breath, I answered him. "We need blood." Danny nodded and I led them to the room where I would take it. A few feet away, a priest sat next to a black man. He was dying, obviously. The priest was only there to pray with him and make him feel at ease about going home. I hooked Danny up, then moved on to Rafe; all 3 of us listening to the priest's prayer instead of listening to ourselves think. For the first time that day, I looked at Rafe in the eyes. "Pain is only temporary, but glory is forever." That was a sign from God if I'd ever seen one. What did it all mean, though? As Rafe once told me, nearly a year ago; before his decision to go to Britain, before he died, before Danny and I fell in love, before America was seized; before anything. "The future's not in our hands."  
  



	7. Part 7 - Goodbye

I looked down at the flag-draped coffin. Inside of it was Betty's body. With Danny and Rafe on either side of me, and the nurses all around, I cried. We all did. Except, maybe Danny and Rafe. They were dignant. They are dignant. The most they'll cry is tear, and if you didn't like that, they would say "screw you". They really were brothers. I knew not then what I know now, but nothing would ever change that. Nothing. I, nor death, would ever get near the the bond that they shared. While they would beat eachother up, and they would yell and scream, and they wouldn't talk because of me, I knew that they still loved eachother. They still eachother's right hands. There were no differences. In all aspects, if you would seriously look, nothing could be contrasted. Except maybe arrogance. But a little arrogance never hurt anything. It's only alot that can get you into trouble, and now I know that. The day before told everyone that, I think. It was a day that while alot of people lost themselves, alot of people found themselves. Alot of people were also caught in the middle. Who were we to ever predict such an attack? Who ARE we to ever to be able to stop such a thing? I broke my thoughts and looked at Red, who kneeled down with a bouqet of flowers. He had often brought those to her. I squeezed his shoulder as I walked past, leaving Danny and Rafe to do what they pleased.  
  
I knocked on the doorframe of Rafe's hotel room. He just looked at me, then returned to his packing. "You're packing." I said, stating the obvious. "Orders." He said, stiffly. "What kind of orders?" "The top secret kind." I nodded slowly, almost rolling my eyes. "The dangerous kind," He didn't say anything. I knew he was hurting. As strong as he wanted to look, it was written all over his face. "I can't find Danny. Did he get the orders too?" I knew he did, I had talked to him earlier. I was only trying to make conversation. Rafe snorted. "Is that why you're here? Looking for Danny?" He never once looked up. I grabbed a pair of his pants from the bed and folded them, stuffing them into the suitcase. "I wasn't looking for Danny," He glanced at me from the corner of his eye. "I can't let you go away without you understanding something." He lightly pushed me away and hatefully slammed the suitcase shut, locking it. "Yeah, well. You don't have to explain anything to me." "Yes, I do! Because you're acting as if I didn't love you. You've got to get over that." He turned around in the doorway. "Evelyn, loving you kept me ALIVE." He spun around and ran out faster than I could blink. I shook my head and ran out after him. "Rafe!" He turned around when I got to him. "You know what? When I was laying in that cold water, I made a deal with God. I told him I would never ask for anything else, if I could just see you one more time," I looked down at the ground. "It was worth it. But now, I'm going to keep my end of the deal. I'm going to walk away; not going to ask you for anything else. But I just wanna know one thing, Evelyn. Why? Just tell me why!" He was crying now. I sighed and looked at the ground. I had no choice. The truth was about to be known, as if it hadn't already. "Rafe," I couldn't think of any other way to put it, so I put it bluntly. "I'm pregnant." I looked up at him and watched the color drain from his face. "Oh my God." He turned away from me, as if he as about to vomit. He looked that green. I had to finish. "I haven't told Danny. I don't want him to know. All he needs to think about is doing this mission and getting back alive," Rafe's expression didn't change. "Rafe, all I ever wanted was for us to have a home, and to grow old together. But life never asked me what I wanted, so now I'm going to give Danny my whole heart," I felt a tear slide down my cheek. "But I don't think that I'll ever look at another sunset without thinking of you. I'll love you my whole life." He didn't look at me, but knew the expression he had on his face. It was a look of defeat, yet at the same time, a look of victory. Defeat in losing me to his best friend, victory in gaining me in his heart. With that, I turned around and walked away. I had to get ready to go to the hanger to see them off. I still had to show Danny I loved him. I laughed a little, thinking about how alike they really were. Danny had asked me not to see him off.  
  
I watched Danny and Rafe as I approached the runway. Rafe only looking at me then back to Danny, patting him on the shoulder. He muttered something, then stood up and went on board the plane. I approached Danny. He didn't say anything, only stood up and led me to the plane. He finally looked me in the eye and spoke. "The only thing that scares me," I studied his face. What he was about to say was unpredictable. "Is that you might love him more than you love me." I looked down. Immediately, I shot them back up towards his gaze. I smiled. "I love YOU, Danny. And I'll be right here waiting for you when you get back." He smiled, and pulled me close to him, kissing me. I kissed him back with all I could. Then he pulled away, running his hand down my face one more time before he departed. He kissed me on the forehead. "Bye, Evelyn." I ran my hands over his shoulders. "Bye." I said, barely audible. "I love you." "I love you, too." With that, he picked up his bag and went to the plane, giving me one last look before he boarded. My hand went to my stomach, as I waved goodbye to the 2 most important men in my life. 


	8. Part 8 - "It's for all the Raiders."

I stood behind the gate, watching the plane land. Having been in the command post, I knew that the Doolittle Raid on Tokyo had been nothing but a suicide mission. But, I also had faith that both of them came back. I hoped they had, anyway. I couldn't lose one of them again. I felt my heart jump as the door opened and the men walked out. The men that had risked their lives to avenge 37,000 others. I watched the other women and their children, running towards their loved ones. So far, it was unplausible for me to do such a thing. Then Rafe stepped out. I felt my smile grow larger, he spotted me, but still did not smile. My smile fell, and my heart skipped a beat. No. He's just tired. Someone else has died. Maybe it was Goos or Red. Not him. No, no, no. Then he turned around, reaching back inside the plane. What the? Then there it was. The coffin. The pine box that represented death. I felt my heart literally fall through me and to the ground. At that moment, I knew what they said was true. When you lose someone you love, they really do take your heart with you. I ran over to Rafe, gripping Danny's jacket, which lay ontop of his coffin. I felt my eyes well up. Daniel Walker was only a couple of inches away from me inside a wooden box, yet he was so far away. Wait, what am I saying? The minute that thought crossed my mind, I felt a presence. I'm not going all supernatural on you, but you know what I mean. He was scolding me for even thinking he was far away. I need to scold myself. I looked at Rafe in the eyes, and he took me close to him with his left hand, for he was holding the coffin with his right. I wept; Rafe wept; Danny wept. He was there. I could feel him, while holding onto his jacket for dear life. We finally let go, and Rafe gave the nod to the other men holding Danny's coffin that signaled the procession. Then we walked out of the airport; the 3 of us. No one else. My left hand holding Danny's jacket, my right holding Rafe's left, and his right hand carrying his right hand.   
  
When the action is over and we look back, we understand both more and less. This much is certain: before the Doolittle Raid, American knew nothing but defeat; after it, nothing but victory. Japan realized for the first time that they could lose, and began to pull back. America realized that she could win, and surged forward.  
  
It was a war that changed America. Dorie Miller was the first black American to win the Navy Cross, but he would not be the last. And it was a war that changed the world. Before it, America could watch Hitler storm across Europe and say it was a local problem; after it, even a civil war in a place as remote as Vietnam would seem to be an American problem. World War II began at Pearl Harbor, and 1,117 men still lie emtombed inside the Arizona. America suffered, but America grew stronger. It was not inevitable. The times tried the souls of Americans, and through the trials, Americans overcame. 


	9. Part 9 - Tennessee

I watched my family. My son walking around in a bed of flowers at his father's resting place, my husband watching him adoringly. While my son would always know Rafe as Daddy, when he got older he would also know about his real daddy;the man buried on our farm. It was the same farm Rafe and Danny grew up on, Rafe having inherited it from his father. I walked up behind Rafe and put my arms around him, he rubbed my hand, then walked over to my son. "Hey Danny, you wanna go flying?" The spitting image of Daniel Walker did nothing but point. He pointed to the red plane that Rafe and Danny had taken their first independent flight on, even if it was because of Rafe accidentally turning on the engine. Rafe smiled and picked him up, carrying him over to the aircraft. 


	10. Epilogue: There You'll Be

I came back outside the house, carrying a pad of paper and a pen. I was going to write something. I had never really wanted to write, but about 5 minutes before, I got a sudden, inspirational urge. I sat down next to Danny's tombstone, my back propped up against it. I glanced up at the plane in the sky, carrying my husband and son. I smiled and looked down at my paper. Where to start? I didn't even know what I was going to write about. Then I knew---I had to write about him. I'm so incredibly happy with Rafe, but then I wouldn't have little Danny if it weren't for him. I turned around and looked at the headstone. "You better help me with this." I said outloud. Sighing, I brought my pen to my paper.  
  
*When I think back on these times, and the dreams we left behind; I'll be glad, cause I was blessed to get to have you in my life.   
When I look back on these days, I'll look and see your face. You were right there for me*  
  
Now what? I nudged my elbow on the headstone. "Come on, Danny. Help me." Then I looked up at the clouds, and the idea hit me.  
  
*In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky.   
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life*  
  
I looked up at the plane; my son was on there. His son. Our son.  
  
*I'll keep a part of you with me.*  
  
I sighed. What to put after that? Oh, stupid me.   
  
*And everywhere I am, there you'll be. Everywhere I am, there you'll be*  
  
I looked up at the plane going through the sunset, and memories came flooding back to me. While it was 2 and a half years earlier, it felt like it was happening right then.  
  
*You showed me how it feels, to feel the sky within my reach.   
And I always will remember all the strength you gave to me.  
Your love made me make it through, oh, I owe so much to you.  
You were right there for me  
In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky.  
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life  
i'll keep a part of you with me,  
And everywhere I am there you'll be*  
  
I took one more look at the headstone, and began writing hard and furiously, not stopping.  
  
*Cause I always saw in you my light, my strength.   
And I wanna thank you now for all the ways,   
You were right there for me.  
You were right there for me,  
Always.  
In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky,  
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life.  
I'll keep a part of you with me,  
and Everywhere I am there you'll be.  
There you'll be*  
  
I looked up from the paper, with a smile on my face and tears in my eyes. Considering I wrote it in 5 minutes, I was proud. But I couldn't have wrote it by myself. I glanced back at the headstone, smiling. "Thank you, Danny." I kissed my finger and put it over the name engravement. I stood up and noticed that Rafe was landing the plane, so I ran inside and put the paper with my "work" on it in my diary, stuffing it in my drawer. For some reason, writing that gave me a sense of release, and in my head no one had to share my release with me. Only the one who helped me. He helped me both times. First with Rafe's death, now his own. I smiled and gallantly carried myself down the stairs, where my family was wanting dinner. I was home.   
  
THE END  
  
  
**disclaimer: yes, I realize that Diane Warren wrote the Faith Hill song, so kudos to her. I also realize that Randall Wallace wrote the speech at the end of chapter 8...kudos to him. I own nothing in this, only the work of fiction. the characters, the plot, that speech and the song are not mine, and never will be. got it? ok, buhbye, and thanks for reading this far...i had fun writing this. i realize that it probably sucks some major arse, but, whatever. i had a great time. :) 


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